People flinch when I say my wife comes before my kids. Then they think about it and stop flinching.
The marriage is the foundation. The kids are what we build on it. A cracked foundation does not hold anything, no matter how much you love what is sitting on top.
The strongest thing I can give my daughters
The best thing my daughters can grow up watching is two parents who chose each other and keep choosing each other. That is more security than any amount of attention aimed only at them.
Kids raised on a stable partnership learn what one looks like. That is a gift that outlasts anything else I can hand them.
Protect the foundation and everything above it holds.
Marriage is a system too
It has inputs and outputs like anything else. When the inputs drop, the output degrades. Attention, honesty, time, the physical side, all of it is real data, not decoration.
Ignore the inputs and act surprised when the system fails. Or track them honestly and keep it strong. Same choice as everywhere else in life.
